Practical Magic: The Art & Science of Simplicity
"Create a space in a child's soul and in a child's being for that fine delicate work to come into the child's being instead of being part of the spillage." (Kim John Payne-Simplicity Parenting).
My #1 job as a homeschooler is creating soul space for Liam.
If that sounds woo-woo, new age-y and homeschooler-in-pj's-with-curtains- drawn-all-day, let me back that up a bit and share how a recent conference discovery, a brand new lens and a fantastic planning tool merged to breathe life into our learning approach.
I encountered Kim John Payne of Simplicity Parenting during A Fine Parent Conference held online. His research into the effects of cumulative stressors--be it PTSD in war-torn countries or children with ADD--pierced my heart.
What helped most across cultures? DIALING IT DOWN! Simplicity.
Intuitively (guiltily if I am honest), Liam's days have been filled with rest, down time and space for constructive conversations. I have felt shame at times over lack of "product" and "snappy" results. Here's what I've learned and affirmed.
The Case for Soul Space
Let's face it, if we have a child who is home sick with a fever, what do we do? Popsicles. Rest. Soothing. Dim lights. Soft touch. Kind words. Fuzzy blankets. We stay close by. Low demands.
Liam had an emotional fever. I'd even go so far as to call it a soul fever. I knew it in my heart and gut the pace was all wrong. I just didn't know there was a researcher out there with words to describe it. So from my heart (not my brain), I naturally did all of the above in response.
Quirk - Cumulative stress = Genius, the child's genius
The pace of life had overwhelmed his resiliency. By pace of life I mean...changing classes daily at school, not knowing what classmates would say, new seating arrangements at lunch, new people each day in the hall, cars in line in a different order for drop off, a new para for third grade, piano classes at the Y....it was ALL too much. PLUS the cumulative stress of multiple medical specialist visits AND navigating his own body's reactions AND his brain's intrusive assaults on his own mind.
So, my primary job description right now is to keep life for Liam SIMPLIFIED and hold him in that space where his QUIRKS are GENIUS. Where his soul is fed!
How About Results?
Friends, if you are in this boat and doubting simplification, just go for it! I read another mom's blog that gave me the initial courage to do it.
What have we seen in about 180 days? Increased learning, increased joy, less anxiety, increased use of self-regulation tools (not all the time by any means--I mean like 15%), and hope.
Don't just take my word for it. Let me share just one research study that Kim John Payne did with children diagnosed with ADHD. Using an Intervention Package based on practices of simplicity, the results after four months showed 68.5% had some statistically and clinically significant improvements in behavior. YOWZA!
PATHWAYS OF SIMPLIFYING
2. Rhythms/Predictability- Simple rhythms. We start our day with a Mason Jar of "3 Reasons Liam is Awesome" with breakfast to set the tone for the day. We slow way down and pace our specialists for one per week whenever we can or a few days apart (which is hard!)
3. Schedules-I personally love to go, go, go, do, do, do. Liam likes what he calls "one mission" per day. That's it. One mission TOPS outside our home. Something like the zoo? Only one a week if that. Playdates? One a week or I move that OT appointment out to make space for real peer play. I'm learning to look at the BIG picture and what Liam can tolerate.
4. Information.- Less is more. for a kiddo with a smaller sensory cup, I have to pause and ask myself hour by hour: is this necessary to say right now or can it wait. As an extrovert, this is my BIGGEST parental challenge.
Again, I highly recommend visiting Simplicity Parenting for more ideas like these!
Simplify with Strengths: The Value of a GREAT Plan
Another piece that has been a lifesaver has been our strengths-based learning plan developed with educational wizard and consultant Shawna Wingert of Not The Former Things blog and Different by Design Learning. We were able to create a six-week strengths-based plan for Liam that cues off his top interests like sharks, Minecraft, singing country music and the Goosebumps book series.
What's special about that? Well, with a six-week interest-led plan it gives us WEEKLY focus so if we have a "duvet-day" (like today) I have grace built in for the ebb and flow of the reality of life. We have a gracious space in the PLAN.
I've found putting pen to paper, focusing to Liam's strengths, I celebrate who he is. I also think harder about what is possible. AND I take next steps that I might otherwise would not to intentionally, thoughtfully expand our learning community. With a SCHEDULE and RHYTHM that works well for Liam.
For instance, I often overlook his interest in space (hah! oh, the irony!). Strengths-based planning led me to research our local planetarium.Guess what?! They do PRIVATE field trips for homeschools! GREAT news because Liam has LOVED the planetarium; because of auditory sensitivities he was never able to complete a full children's Saturday experience there due to all the high-pitched toddlers. WINNING!
In then end, it comes back to KISS...Keep It Simple Sweetie!
 |
| Liam, age 7 months- KISS fan |
Here's the bottom line: Liam's gritty quest for learning, processing and growing requires wide open spaces.
Comments
Post a Comment